I am sorry to say that I am still knee-deep in craziness, and I cannot post much. I arrived for school on Sunday night, and did not have time to even to my required reading for my first two (and only) classes Tuesday. As I am behind and in serious need of studying, it's unfortunate that I am still on the mend. I get really tired and sore from walking around campus, and I need about 12 hours of sleep a day! Keep in mind I was super inflamed and sick for about three months, bedridden, so me going to classes and running errands is the pretty much the equivalent of a normal person suddenly diving into a triathlon! I am confident that so long as I take it slow though, and for once put my health before my schooling and social life, I will continue to get better.
This really wouldn't be possible without all the help from my friends, family, doctors, church, and even a couple of friendly strangers, so I just want to say thank you. I have never had to depend so much on others as I have these past few months, so I really want to say thank you from the bottom of my heart. This still isn't over, and I have to go through maybe a year of injection therapy to reach a normal life, but I really can't believe that that is now possible. When endometriosis gets severe like this, it really is an aggressive and awful disease. I mean, when the doctors start feeling sorry for you and calling it those kinds of names (severe case, aggressive case, uncommonly bad... yeah, that raises your spirits haha) you know you're in trouble. But this experience has taught me a lot and made me aware of how important friendships and family really are. So many friends showed me uncommon kindness and helpfulness. My parents especially rose to the occasion and made it possible for me to be where I am now. I hope I can return at least some of the many many favors bestowed on me.
As this isn't over and I still have things I'd like to say, I will be continuing this blog. I was surprised when many people told me they had been reading it--I honestly tried not to get my hopes up! But I'm really glad that it's piqued some interests and I'm excited to continue. I just have to get a little more grounded in my current situation before I can really start making some posts.
Before I go today though, I just want to pass on probably the most valuable bit of knowledge I believe I've learned from all of this: if you're sick, really sick, don't be stubborn and make it your own thing. Don't sacrifice help and support for privacy. Don't forgo an opportunity to teach others about what you're experiencing so you can sit back and be quiet. You never know what bodily struggles other people around you are having, and being open with your own often makes it easier for others to feel safe about doing so too. I don't mean give the nitty gritty details of every part of personal experience. There are more personal parts of this disease that I do not share here or even with friends. You're allowed privacy. But by keeping everything to yourself, I think it reinforces that stigma that sick people are weak people. By owning your struggles you are reaffirming that it's okay to have them. And you are also giving the people around you an invaluable opportunity to serve another human being in trouble. I often struggle with asking for help--I'm almost always willing to give it, but almost didn't know how to ask for it. And I believe a lot of people don't know how to ask for it. But we grow from serving others and it's a great opportunity to be able to serve someone you personally know. I feel I grew closer to a lot of friends, and I don't think I could have stayed as positive as I did without the support I received. Don't try to do everything on your own, is all I'm trying to say--because you're more likely to fail without help, and much much more likely to succeed with it.
Thank you so much, I hope I can write a bit more thoughtful and more organized post soon!--Ash