For those of you that have not heard the news, a recent land-mark study has linked Endometriosis with extrasensory communication. This ESP phenomenon was discovered in a recent UC Berkeley study, conducted by Dr. Proalifo, in which extra-sensory properties of the female uterus was the topic. Despite rigorous testing and wide sampling, the study was largely dismissed as nonsense by the medical community. This is largely attributable to the general 'taboo' label given to any studies concerning extra-sensory perception. Dr. Proalifo has conducted several ESP studies, most displaying significant results. However, even the professor and his team were apt to give up when months of research was leading to multiple dead ends.
However, prompted by prior studies linking syncing of menstrual cycles to physical proximity, Dr. Proalifo decided to refocus his work on uterine 'abnormalities'. This path led him to investigate female diseases such as PCOS and Endometriosis--and his results provided some rather interesting findings.
The study, The Extra-Sensory Properties of the Endometriosis Uterus, published in the Journal of Physiological Psychiatry, demonstrated above-average telepathic communication between women with Endoemtriosis and their uteri. "The connection was not easy to establish," says Dr. Proalifo, in an exclusive interview with MSNBC, "when we generally envision telepathic communication, we think of messages and words. What we observed were more synchronization of actions."
Using a set up of partitions, multiple ultrasounds, and various stimuli, Dr. Proalifo was able to document some uncommon and significant behaviors in the women he studied. Apparently, the uteri of each women (without verbal or physical communication) were synchronized in movements. These could be anything from cramping to small 'shifts' in location. Usually one 'dominant' uterus would lead the other uteri in various motions, uncannily synced and only differed by small time lapses.
One case, the highlight of the study, involved five women, all strangers, and one particularly 'dominant' uterus. This uterus led the remaining four in a 'dance'--twisting, jiving, and shaking the ovaries in a manner akin to 'maracas'. The dominant uterus even attempted to pull other organs into the dance. Even more amazing, despite slight cramping, none of the women were aware of the events taking place in their pelvic cavities.
With such promising results, this study will surely act as a catalyst for further investigation. Such synchronization of uterine behaviors (abnormal behaviors at that) will surely lead to further study of Endometriosis and possible links between the disease and extra-sensory development. "I'm just getting started," states Dr. Proalifo.
For more information, please feel free to check out his paper and site.
April fools :-)