It sounds ridiculous, but we all do it all the time. We act like we believe that is the truth. Perhaps in response to different things and different problems, each person susceptible to unique stressors, yet the same weakness pervades human nature. We have a fight or flight response to stress, and our mind likes to tell us that both are equally valid options. As if we truly believe that avoidance works.
As I was struggling with another one of my 'I'll avoid this till it goes away' moments, I thought of my struggle with this site and the proper upkeep it deserves. I spend time researching and learning, and I am eager to share what I learn, but I haven't been putting the work into it that it requires. The longer I put it off, the more defeated and stressed I feel.
A problem can never just go away. It either grows in size in the real world, or anxiety grows from not facing it. Or both. Or we pass the buck onto someone else to cope with (though never entirely). We can never run away from them, even if you can manage it temporarily. Our decisions make up our lives and we are the owners of them. There is no sidestepping.
I face my medical issues--I go to appointments I don't like, take medicine I don't want, research problems I wish I did not have, because I chose to live with this. Even when giving up is or never has been on your radar, it does not change that you have made great efforts and decisions in choosing to fight. Remember that when you are faced with the anxiety of stressful tests, treatments, bills, relationships, illness, etc.--you are a strong person who already has faced many difficult burdens of life. As hard as some challenges can be, it is important to remember the ones you have successfully faced. To boost yourself up as you ready for the next stressful thing.
I will face my issue here: I have been avoiding the site. It's pretty obvious. I made a statement that I was ready to resume after grieving my father's passing, but the truth is I am still grieving. I probably will be for a long time. I cannot let that be a barrier from doing something I love or possibly helping anyone else out there. So let's do this. I'll give myself another chance, and I hope you will too.