Sunday, January 24, 2016

Update and Forefront

Avoidance tactics are 'great!'. They reduce exposure, prevent encounters with a stressor, allow you to pretend that the problem does not exist, let you sing 'la la la' while ignoring responsibilities... all as the issue at hand snowballs into a bigger and bigger problem. Of course, anyone could only assume avoidance is a foolproof method for reducing stress and increasing productivity.

It sounds ridiculous, but we all do it all the time. We act like we believe that is the truth. Perhaps in response to different things and different problems, each person susceptible to unique stressors, yet the same weakness pervades human nature. We have a fight or flight response to stress, and our mind likes to tell us that both are equally valid options. As if we truly believe that avoidance works.

As I was struggling with another one of my 'I'll avoid this till it goes away' moments, I thought of my struggle with this site and the proper upkeep it deserves. I spend time researching and learning, and I am eager to share what I learn, but I haven't been putting the work into it that it requires. The longer I put it off, the more defeated and stressed I feel.

A problem can never just go away. It either grows in size in the real world, or anxiety grows from not facing it. Or both. Or we pass the buck onto someone else to cope with (though never entirely). We can never run away from them, even if you can manage it temporarily. Our decisions make up our lives and we are the owners of them. There is no sidestepping.

I face my medical issues--I go to appointments I don't like, take medicine I don't want, research problems I wish I did not have, because I chose to live with this. Even when giving up is or never has been on your radar, it does not change that you have made great efforts and decisions in choosing to fight. Remember that when you are faced with the anxiety of stressful tests, treatments, bills, relationships, illness, etc.--you are a strong person who already has faced many difficult burdens of life. As hard as some challenges can be, it is important to remember the ones you have successfully faced. To boost yourself up as you ready for the next stressful thing.

I will face my issue here: I have been avoiding the site. It's pretty obvious. I made a statement that I was ready to resume after grieving my father's passing, but the truth is I am still grieving. I probably will be for a long time. I cannot let that be a barrier from doing something I love or possibly helping anyone else out there. So let's do this. I'll give myself another chance, and I hope you will too.

Thank you.


  1. Hi Ash! I've been recommending your blog to others for a couple years now and have wondered, rather worryingly, where you sauntered off to this past year. As someone who suffers from a debilitating illness that will likely never waver, I understand more than most the feeling of having ambitions and things to say without being able to truly pursue those things... as well as simply not having the motivation to see it through.

    I'll always be a follower of this blog and look forward to when you'll submit something else for us to read. You don't know me and I'm not exactly the kind of guy to reach out regularly, but trust that you have a loyal reader who takes everything you say here into introspective consideration. :)

    1. Side note: I've been going through a super rough month so seeing this new post of yours was a nice and unexpected end to it. Doesn't mean much, I realize, but I thought you'd like to know that even this quick post meant something to someone.

    2. David, what a wonderful comment to find. I figured that not many people would see this new one, since I sort of quietly snuck back into my work, so seeing the positive feedback and support has been so great. I don't know how to say it without sounding cheesey, but please know your words are appreciated and I am really glad to hear from you. You are definitely not alone!

  2. Glad to see you back Ash I've missed your writings I look eagerly to see what you have written next

    1. Thank you so much for the positive words, I hope I don't let you down :)

  3. New to your blog
    I am loving it ,you are a excellent writer
    I will continue to read and will offer my story shortly as I am in chronic pain and have been for ten years. Thank you for this blog


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About The BedRiddenHead

I want to be happy. And this site is about that chance. How to strive to thrive in the body I've got and maybe turn my experiences into something worthwhile.

This site aims to help educate and reach out to people all over that struggle with pain or illness. To try and make something helpful. I work as a medical research writer, my background is in neuropsychology and biology, and I want to share what I learn in a way that is easy to understand. I am not a doctor. I'm definitely not your doctor. I am just some lady who wants to make someone's (anyone's) life a little bit better. Whether you have endometriosis, a chronic injury, a struggling friend, or just want to learn something new, I hope to make a place that has what you are looking for.

Thank you for stopping by, I wish you strength in your health and happiness.